The first article we’ll look at here is one that I read recently from the Toronto Sun about a teenage girls experience in an Aikido dojo in Halifax who had apparently experienced gender segregation imposed by her instructor due to a new student with a religious restriction.
Admittedly, the Sun is not the standard-bearer of high-quality reporting, but the fact that it has reported on this creates ripple effects well beyond the Martial Arts world.
“Halifax woman felt “disgusting” after martial arts class segregated by gender”
This has been picked up by many other, more reputable, news sources and has made the situation apparently “clear”. (National Post being one)
But is it, really?
The article makes it sound like the Aikido instructor had his hands tied by the religious restriction (Islam, incidentally) and he had no other choice but to impose the gender segregation or accusation of being racist, etc. This article (and others) also make it sound like there is a wall between practitioners and that women are treated less than human…
I may be embellishing a little, but conceptually, some people are likely to think this way. One of the major issues here is the concept of “propriety” – what is the “right” thing to do in this situation?
The first issue is that of the supposed gender segregation. First, the religious ‘taboo’ is viable – It is a part of that students culture to limit physical contact with the opposite sex (in this case, female), and although non-practicing minds would like to say that this practice is “wrong”, it is an integral part of the social strata of that culture. Is it right or wrong? That’s debatable – but don’t judge until you look at the social strata of your own culture first. Whenever someone sneezes, it’s polite to say “bless you” – but that’s imposing your religious beliefs on someone else, even though you may not think it is. It is about perspective.
The accusations are that the gender segregation was enforced by the instructor of the class, which is rebutted in this article: Martial Arts Instructor Defended
Apparently the ‘gender segregation’ isn’t enforced by the instructor – but instead by the student in their interactions with their peers. Also, the student does not bow to their opponents prior to sparring due to their belief. This last is a concession made by the instructor to respect the students religious freedom of expression, but the former is applied and enforced by the student themselves when they are choosing sparring partners. If the 17 year old female student felt “degraded”, “disgusted”, or “like a second class citizen”, then that is her perception of the situation.
Now, I will state that I believe that a Martial Arts dojo is a sacred space, having its own form of societal rules, rotes, and traditions, and that anyone wishing to participate in Martial Arts training should respect those that came before them, and the customs that have evolved. This means that, even though I thoroughly agree with the right to freedom of religious expression, I believe that there must be concession on the part of the religious practitioner as well – no compromise can be made if it is only one-sided, as this is exactly the opposite of the definition of “Compromise”. Throughout religious history there have always been ‘exceptions’ or ‘liminal spaces’ to allow for practitioners of particular faiths to do things that were contrary to the ‘typical’ practices of the day – and I believe that the dojo can be one of those spaces. I enforce traditions in a dojo, I don’t force them. No instructor should force someone to do something they are not comfortable with… and this goes for training points as well. As instructors, we always encourage students to listen to their body, push yourself but don’t do anything you’re not ready to do – so how can an instructor force a student to touch females if they a) have a religious preclusion, and b) are not ready to do so?
I have taught women’s self-defence courses where some of the students have been severely hurt by men – so much so that, upon seeing me enter the training space, they almost walked out. I had a female friend of mine help teach those who were scared of having a man teach them how to defend themselves from ever having to experience that horror again. Did I feel “disgusted”, “degraded”, or like a “second class citizen”? In all honesty – yes, a little. I felt sick to my stomach that someone could do that to another human being, and I was ashamed of my sex – but mostly I was ashamed of society for creating an environment where this sort of thing happens… if it was just this one woman who had ever experienced this sort of atrocity, it would be an anomaly. It’s not. Sexual abuse, rape, assault – they are all unfortunate consequences to a myriad of issues, not the least of which is the over-sexualization of men and clemency afforded to them for being “pigs”, “studs”, “manly” at the expense of women.
Returning to my story – the participant did not want a man touching her because she had experienced a traumatic event where she lost control of the one thing she should be the majority stockholder in… her body.
How does this apply here? Most people would say that this woman had significantly more right to limit her contact with males than the Muslim Aikido student has to restrict his physical interactions with females. Here is where I say to those who agree that they’re wrong.
In many Muslim societies there is an assumption and belief that men cannot control their own sexual desires. This is part of their cultural paradigm and not solely rooted in faith, no matter how much I may disagree with (and balk at) it. The cultural belief is based on their religious doctrine (not just the Qur’an, but also the practices and sayings of the Prophet Muhammed (PBUH)) that was interpreted over generations and through various interpretive paradigms (such as the Sunni/Shi’ah differences) which resulted in the practice of limiting physical contact. The cultures came to believe that these practices were HELPING and PROTECTING women…
This evolution of social practice is no different than when someone says in the Western (read: Christian based) culture that a woman was “asking for it” when she was wearing something that is appealing to the eye and walking down the road. Fundamentally, I disagree with ANYONE that tries to say that men cannot control their urges. If you think that “boys will be boys” and that women have to cover their bodies just to be retain the inherent right to the sanctity of their own body – you’re an idiot. Men are not “slaves” to their desires – if you give someone the opportunity for an excuse, they’re going to take it! Thus, it’s SOCIETY that creates the environment where this happens…
But I digress.
The issue with this female student is that yes, she felt slighted. Sorry that you don’t understand the other students perspective – that’s not his fault. Can he articulate why he has the preclusion? Probably not that well, because it’s essentially “just the way it is” and he doesn’t want to challenge the practice. Should he? Are you going to force him to?
There is a significant part of me that has the idealistic notion that a dojo is a “safe space” where people should be able to come together as a group and learn from one another, regardless of religious or other cultural differences. The Muslim student is missing out on a significant training opportunity – women are great training partners because their centre of gravity is different, and they respond different than the average male (in part due to the social programming of what is expected of a woman, etc. I am sure). That’s his loss…
But can anyone force him to train with a female student? I argue – not until he makes that conscious decision for concession. The other side of this is simple – can he refuse to learn from a female instructor? Yes… but then he should be asked to find another instructor, and possibly dojo. In many cases you can choose your training partner, but if you say you don’t want to learn from a female instructor then that is disrespectful. More so than not bowing to your sparring partner, which is something that bothered me more than the gender segregation because I believed it is more disrespectful.
I would argue another concession should be made in this situation as the bow signifies respect for your opponent, who is actually your peer that you are sharing knowledge with and learning from… Thus, a statement from the student to show respect in lieu of the bow, as I know that a bow can be seen as subservience (and Islam is only subordinate to Allah), which would make the ‘bow’ an action contrary to his faith. A verbal statement such as “Thank you for sharing this training with me” should be enforced as a mark of respect.
Am I for “Gender segregation” in martial arts classes? No. Do I think this situation warrants furthering even more bad blood against Muslims? Hell no. They get a bad enough rap as it is, and most non-Muslims don’t want to understand where these supposed “weirdo’s” get their understanding of the world – they just believe that they are wrong and that they should change etc, etc… Maybe, just maybe, if we started to see HOW the world is through their eyes and make appropriate concessions (within the limits of propriety and the law) then maybe then they wouldn’t feel persecuted, be able to un-circle the wagons, and start reviewing their practices to allow for these moments and spaces of exception… if and when they’re ready/willing to. Our values aren’t the only “right” ones…
And then we could get start to get along.
Find the centre and then leverage makes it easier…
